That old inner critic called love….

I’m very familiar with the Inner Critic. My dear friend Karin Peeters has talked about the inner critic ever since I’ve known her – over ten years. Until recently – like very recently….OK Thursday, I honestly thought I didn’t really have one anymore, so well hidden she was. In a brilliant coaching session from the wonderful Heather Parker yesterday, I realised that my internal wanderings and challenges of not being good enough, consistently pushing myself to earn more, be more, do more – just might be my inner critic! (mind blown…) Well I’ll be! It fascinates me, that old adage about the cobbler having no shoes…..but boy is it real! I talk to people all the time about being kind and compassionate to themselves. And whilst I do practice that myself, I seem to have not quite nailed this one.

In my meditation this morning I decided that my Inner Critic and I will be friends from now on. This idea was planted in my head by Nishe Patel, who even has an identity for hers (a bright green fluffy crocodile no less!). I haven’t yet fully imagined mine, but I really want her to be uber cool. A cross between Kate Bush, Michelle Obama and Tina Turner. It might be the flowing robes, mini skirts, power suits….??

I write this because I want my clients to know that we are all works in progress. I want to normalise what we think of as being wrong or confused or unclear or foggy or as I used to say FITH (F***ed in the Head). I’m not FITH. I’m my own version of kooky normal. By being kind and compassionate to myself, I can start to listen to, hear and understand what this very uber cool chick is telling me. We can be mates, she can challenge me, but she no longer has theĀ  power to criticise me or put me down.

I often wonder why it can take us a long time sometimes to see what is obvious – or obvious to others. I knew I had an inner critic but I thought her only focus was body image! She was REAL busy there for a while. I obviously missed a few other messages she had in mind for me.

As Karin and Nishe say, the work we do on our inner critic can change the way we think of ourselves. If we sit with them and befriend them and make some sense of why they are being so vocal, then bringing it into our conscious mind can help resolve the angst. Being kind and compassionate with myself looks like telling myself it will be OK; that I do have this, that whatever I am doing or being in that moment is enough. When I have the resources within, action will take place. When it’s needed.

This is what I mean by being kind and compassionate to ourselves.

 

It’s one of THOSE days….

I hear this a lot. Today is one of THOSE days. But not one of THOSE days. Today is not a day I dread – because I woke up. My feet hit the ground, the sun is actually shining and I am already blessed. It’s not one of THOSE days where things go wrong. I don’t tend to have those, I refuse to believe in them.

No, this is one of those days where I move around a bit, looking at the things I have to do, get sidetracked by other things, do them, come back, look at what I had to do and then go do something else.

Instead of being cross with myself for wandering aimlessly between jobs, I just said out loud – “Oh, this is one of THOSE days”. I let myself off the hook. I kindly and compassionately told myself it’s OK. Those days come to help me be mindful. To breathe, to take things in my stride and to alert me to things that are happening around me. To be grateful that I get to do exactly this.

I’ve already been visited by the neighbour’s cat, a few squirrels and the sun – so this is a great day. Whenever the moving from one thing to another takes away my focus, I have decided today to let that be my focus. So I sat and wrote about it. I could have chosen to be frustrated because I wasn’t achieving anything today. Instead, I choose to take all the gifts presented to me and be mindful of them today. Because this is what I mean by being kind and compassionate to ourselves.

 

#thebridgetoyet